How to say no at work without a long explanation

Saying yes to everything feels kind and ends up costing you time, energy and goodwill. A clear, short no is usually kinder to everyone, including the person asking.

Why the long explanation backfires

A long list of reasons gives the other person things to argue with. Each reason becomes a problem to solve for you. A short, calm no leaves nothing to negotiate.

The CLEAR steps

UNPUZZLE HUMAN uses five steps for setting a boundary:

• Clarify: what exactly are you being asked, and what is your real answer?
• Limit: what can you offer instead, and where is your line?
• Express: say it directly and respectfully, in a sentence or two.
• Allow: let the other person react without rushing to fix their feelings.
• Remain: stay with your answer if they push back, calmly and without a new argument.

Scripts you can adapt

To a request you cannot take on: "I can't take that on this week. I can look at it Thursday, or you could ask someone on the other team."

To a meeting with no clear purpose: "I'd like to help. Can you send the question you need answered? I may be able to reply in writing."

To a repeated push: "I understand it's important to you. My answer is still no."

Practise on small things first

It gets easier with low-stakes requests. The free Boundary Scripts worksheet has the CLEAR steps on one page and a set of scripts to start from.